What should you do if a girl sits on your hand?

Try to get her off.

A man was looking all over town to find a friend of his. 

He walked down the street and came to a barber shop.

He stuck his head inside and asked, "Bob Peters here?"

The barber replied, "Nah, we just do shaves and haircuts."

How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and one to hold the penis.

Oops. LADDER! I meant hold the ladder.